Here is all that can be known
You have never seen us, but you may have felt our wrath. We operate in the bitter darkness outside the known channels. We slink like cats along the fringes, spreading the power and propaganda of the Cow wherever we are. We are the most secretive agents of that cult, existing only to fight and die for its greater glory. Ours are lives of total devotion to the forces of the cDc. Ours are lives full of supernatural powers barely guessed at by the general public. We are the elite of the elite, and through our supernormal abilities and superhuman loyalty we form the online universe's most perfect and most deadly servants.
We have mastered, one and all, the power of digital chi; we have been deeply indoctrinated into its devastating offensive capabilities, and we can strike, suddenly and mercilessly, without even moving a finger. Our minds, bodies, and black clad keyboards are under our total control: our every movement, thought, and keypress are choreographed more perfectly than a classical ballet, and all have deadly purpose. We are capable of disguising our true purpose to such a degree that it is no longer expressible in words. We have eyebeams. We can strike out with such power as to crumble the sham defenses of any but the most stringent master of cow fu. Our hands contain the power and wisdom of the ancients, our hearts their unblinking vision. We will not be disturbed. We can take the harshest punishments of the electronic medium with a wink and a nod. So far as you can know, we can fly. Our senses are extraordinarily acute, capable of distinguishing between objects normal, untrained simpletons would call identical. We can drive by smell. We are at our zenith from dawn till dusk, and gain yet more power in the hours 'tween dusk and dawn. We may well be invincible.
Our membership is as closely kept a secret as any. Each of its members has been through a torturous and brutal training process, occupying years of their life, followed by a test, which, if failed, is fatal not just to the testee, but the tester, the observers, and many nearby innocents, as well. We are the cream of the crop, and our only mission, the cause to which we zealously adhere, is the protection and further heightening of the glory of CULT OF THE DEAD COW.
You will never see us, but you will feel our presence. We cannot be escaped, we cannot be ignored. We are all pervasive. We are the Chosen and the Mighty. Our power cannot be contained.